Friday, December 20, 2013

Guest Blog by Guy Adams - Write what you know... Where's the fun in that? - December 20, 2013

Please welcome Guy Adams to The Qwillery. Guy's most recent novel is the 2nd in his Heaven's Gate Trilogy: Once Upon a Time in Hell. It has a wonderfully vertiginous cover!

‘Write about what you know,’ you say. But where’s the fun in that?

My latest book is the second in a trilogy of weird westerns that form the HEAVEN’S GATE trilogy (always name your books after either: a) notoriously unwatchable movies that bankrupt their studio or b) Loony cults who commit mass suicide, it makes your publisher cry). It’s called ONCE UPON A TIME IN HELL and it contains lots of things I have no personal experience of.
  1. I have never been to Hell. Don’t actually believe in it. Unless you count Aberystwyth in winter in which case ignore previous statements.
  2. I am not a cowboy. Though I have ridden a horse. It seemed civil enough but was then unkind to my testes.
  3. I have never fired a gun. Actually, that is a lie, I’ve just remembered I have, though it was rifle not a six-shooter. Nobody died, not even the paper target.
  4. I have never seen the vagina of a Succubus. I’ve seen other vaginas (don’t tell my mother) but none of them contained tentacles and appeared to drain the life force of their lover. Perhaps I was doing it wrong.
  5. I’ve never met an Angel. Though I did have a cat called that when I was a child. It sat outside my room when I was a baby and attacked people if they tried to come in. I later repaid it by chasing it around the house and cuddling it mercilessly.
  6. I’ve never met the Devil. Though a number of my editors claim they have to deal with him on a regular basis.
  7. I have never met God. I used to talk to him when I was young but then we had a bit of a falling out due to my not believing in Him. From what I gather I suspect He’s forgiven me.
  8. I have never sailed a lake of minced people on an ancient paddle steamer. A browse through TripAdvisor assures me few have, though ‘Beelzebub666’ comments that it is ‘overpriced and lacking in basic facilities. The Flames of Hell were set on ‘economy’ and I was forced to wear an ad hoc sweater knitted from toddlers’ hair’.
  9. I have never come face to face with a giant angry lizard. Though I do have a family of geckos living in an outside light fitting they are neither giant nor particularly angry. They have been known to be vaguely grumpy after a day of unsuccessfully chasing moths but generally they are the very epitome of ‘easygoing’.
  10. I have never encountered demons who run a drug trafficking ring. This may be because I’m not terribly good with drugs. The last time I smoked a joint I mumbled, ‘Skunk? It’s more like badger’ and proceeded to curl up in a ball feeling very sorry for myself. I did once try Magic Mushrooms which led to the most bewildering few hours trying to climb up the stairs in my house hoping to meet God. In this I was at least partially unsuccessful (see point 7).
  11. I have never met a talking dog. I do own a dog but he doesn’t talk. The thing’s an idiot. I love him but no conversation ever flourishes when one half of it would rather be hanging off the other half’s arm by its teeth.
  12. I have never played poker with demons. In fact I’ve never played poker at all. I’m not bad at Scrabble though, should any of the Infernal wish to take me on. I will have to insist they cover any fire damage.
  13. I have never been involved in any form of reality-shattering crisis point that will alter human existence as we know it. Nor have I ever voted on The X Factor, though I am assured by those involved that it’s pretty much the same thing.
So there. Next time, if you insist, I will stick to what I know but I hope you’re all prepared for 80,000 words about a silly man and his dog talking to the lizards that live in his walls.

Actually, now I say that, it doesn’t sound too bad.

The Heaven's Gate Trilogy

Once Upon a Time in Hell
Heaven's Gate Trilogy 2
Solaris Books, December 31, 2013 (US/Canada)
January 2, 2014 (UK)
Mass Market Paperback and eBook, 288 pages

Book two of The Heaven's Gate Trilogy. A weird western, a gun-toting, cigarrillo-chewing fantasy built from hangman’s rope and spent bullets. The west has never been wilder. A Steampunk-Western-Fantasy from Guy Adams.

"Heaven? Hell? There's no difference. Angels, demons, we're all a bit of both. This could be the most wondrous place you ever experience or so terrifying it makes you pray for death. Not that death would help you of course, there's no escape from here…"

Wormwood has appeared and for twenty four hours the gateway to the afterlife is wide open. But just because a door is open doesn't mean you should step through it…

Those who have travelled to reach the town are realising that the challenges they've already faced were nothing compared to what lies ahead. The afterlife has an agenda of its own and with scheming on both sides of reality, the revelations to come may change the world forever.

The Good, the Bad and the Infernal
Heaven's Gate Trilogy 1
Solaris Books, March 26, 2013 (US/Canada)
April 11, 2013 (UK)
Mass Market Paperback and eBook, 320 pages

A weird western, a gun-toting, cigarrillo-chewing fantasy built from hangman’s rope and spent bullets. The west has never been wilder. A Steampunk-Western-Fantasy from Guy Adams.

“You wish to meet your God?” the gunslinger asked, cocking his revolver, “well now... that’s easy to arrange.”

Every one hundred years a town appears. From a small village in the peaks of Tibet to a gathering of mud huts in the jungles of South American, it can take many forms. It exists for twenty-four hours then vanishes once more, but for that single day it contains the greatest miracle a man could imagine: a doorway to Heaven.

It is due to appear on the 21st September 1889 as a ghost town in the American Midwest. When it does there are many who hope to be there: traveling preacher Obeisance Hicks and his simple messiah, a brain-damaged Civil War veteran; Henry and Harmonium Jones and their freak show pack of outlaws; the Brothers of Ruth and their sponsor Lord Forset (inventor of the Forset Thunderpack and other incendiary modes of personal transport); finally, an aging gunslinger who lost his wings at the very beginning of creation and wants nothing more than to settle old scores.

A weird western, a gun-toting, cigarrillo-chewing fantasy built from hangman’s rope and spent bullets. The West has never been wilder.

Read my review of The Good, the Bad and the Infernal here.

About Guy

Guy Adams is a no-good, pen-toting son of a bitch. Responsible for over twenty penny-dreadfuls and scientific romances such as The World House and the Deadbeat series. He has also worked with the Hammer Books Gang creating novelisations of their foul kinematographs and has been known to operate under the alias of John Watson M.D. writing novels featuring that pansy-ass detective Sherlock Holmes. He is wanted in several states and a reward is offered for anyone quick enough to slip a noose around his crooked neck. Further evidence of his crimes can be found on his Wild Western Waystation:

Website  ~  Twitter @guyadamsauthor

1 comment:

  1. I loved the post, Guy has a wonderful sense of humor and judging by his post and the descriptions of both books, I think I'm going to enjoy the heck out of them.