Monday, December 29, 2008


My Mom would have been 82 yesterday. She passed away in January 1999, just a few days shy of my parent’s 53rd anniversary. So in honor of her birthday, I’d like to tell you a few random things about her.

My Mom was an amazing person and one of my very best friends.

My Mom was stunning. I wanted to grow up to be an elegant Mom just like her. She looked like a movie star to me.

My Mom’s favorite perfume was Arpège by Lanvin. “Promise her anything, but give her Arpège.” She wore it every day. It was the only fragrance she ever used. When she and Dad would go out for the evening, she’d put a couple of drops on my pillowcase.

My Mom saw the world in terms of black and white. There were no shades of gray. You were wrong or you were right. She liked you or she didn't. She did not keep this information to herself. You knew where you stood. I found this trait both admirable and horrifying.

My Mom was intelligent and very knowledgeable. She always astounded me with the breadth of her knowledge. She would have made an excellent Trivial Pursuit partner.

My Mom was wise. I was born in New Jersey, but we moved to Connecticut when I was 13 months old. I don't remember New Jersey. I complained once to my Mom that I felt uncomfortable saying that I was from New Jersey, since I did not grow up there. Nor was I comfortable saying that I was from Connecticut since I was not born there. In fact, I said, I felt rootless. She told me that I was from her. I never felt rootless again.

My Mom is the reason I wear black almost exclusively. When I was twelve she told me that redheads look good in black. I was not about to disagree with her. She, however, liked to wear bright colors!

My Mom was not perfect, but she was perfect for me.

It’s hard to encapsulate someone like my Mom in a few sentences. There are so many memories that it’s difficult to pick just a few. That said I’m not sure that pages and pages would give you a real sense of my Mom. She has been described by many as “a force of nature.” Simply, my Mom loved me, and I knew it. I loved her, and she knew it. Not a day went by without a phone call or email or ten. I miss her.

So, as 2008 draws to a close, I’d like to wish you a Happy New Year and to ask all of you a favor. Please tell the people you love how much you love them. Give them a hug. Spend a little extra time together. My Mom would want you to!


  1. Your mom sounds like an awesome woman. We can all aspire to be as awesome! Happy Birthday to your mom and Happy New Year to you as well.

  2. Qwill, what a beautiful tribute to your wondeful Mom. I too know the lost of a incrediable Mom and no matter what was going on in my life, I knew that her love would get me through anything. Because of her I know to tell everyone I love how I feel about them on a daily basis, and both my children do the same, I am told by them more then once a day how much they love me, and I tell them the same. Because of her love, I was able to be unafraid to love again after my divorce and I met my soulmate. Maybe they are together in heaven hanging out, that would be so great.

    So Happy Birthday Mom.

    Hey Qwill, love ya girlfriend.


  3. Thanks, Eva. She was awesome. I'm not sure I could ever be that awesome, but you never know! :)

  4. Hi, Lynda. I'd say we both were very lucky in the Mom department! If our Mom's are hanging out, heaven help heaven! LOL And I love ya too! Hope to see you in the New Year. Hugs.

  5. How incredibly lovely, as was your mother. She was stunning :)

    I bet you're just as awesome a mother as she was and then some.

    Hugs, honey!

    DC :)

  6. Thank you, Dakota. Only time will tell re how awesome a Mom I am. LOL I've got pretty terrific kids, not perfect, but who is?

    Hugs back at ya!

  7. You're right your mom was beautful, as is this tribute to her. I'm blessed to still have mine, but I know that time is drawing nearer each day, and I can't imagine not being able to pick up the phone and hear her voice whenever.

  8. What a wonderful tribute to your mom. She sounded so special, and she was just beautiful.

    Hugs to you!

  9. Simply just breath taking! Two very beautiful women :)

  10. Quill, this is a lovely tribute to your mom. She sounds like a wonderful lady, someone I would have liked to know. Hugs.

  11. Thank you, Sandi. I wish at least once a day that I could talk to my Mom about something. I worry about my Dad now!

  12. Thanks, Rottie_mom. My Mom was a special person. She was really glamorous in a very nonflashy way.

  13. Tamara, thank you. My Dad always said that my Mom got better looking as she got older.

  14. I wish you could have known my Mom, Bonita. All of my friends adored her, and she 'adopted' quite a few of them. She had an infinite capacity to love.

  15. Ter, I don't miss my Mom less, it's simply not as painful. Like a wound that heals very slowly, but the scar will always be there. Not sure that offers any comfort.

    Hugs back at you!!